The magic of female friendships
We all know that humans are social animals, but many women would agree there's something extra special about female friendships. We're wired for deep, meaningful connections – it's in our biology. And having supportive girlfriends doesn't just feel wonderful. It boosts our health and happiness, right up to old age. Take it from Michelle Obama: "I believe that your friends can help you get through pretty much anything in life."
Wired to tend and befriend
The last time you were stressed out, or had exciting news to share, or finally bought tickets for that solo trip you've been dreaming about… did you find yourself messaging one of your girlfriends?
A fascinating UCLA study revealed that women typically respond to stress differently from men. We're told that our bodies have a 'fight or flight' response to stress, but this is based on studies where more than 80% of the subjects were men. The UCLA study showed that instead, women usually 'tend and befriend'. We protect and support our loved ones and close friends (tend) and reach out for support from social groups (befriend).
This can be easier for women than men, thanks to women's naturally higher levels of oxytocin, known as the bonding hormone. That makes women empathetic friends who are intuitive to others' needs. Exchanging this energy can be incredibly nourishing, whether we're sharing our feelings about a promotion or illness, or having a giggle at Sunday brunch. Men can learn to 'tend and befriend' too, and look to female friendships for inspiration.
Amazingly, spending time with our mates can even make us healthier. People with stronger friendships were better able to fight off colds and survive breast cancer than those who were isolated. And for women recovering from addictions, their girlfriends helped them feel more empowered and optimistic.
Making new connections
While having friends is fabulous, finding them isn't always easy. The good news is, community-focused organisations, hobby socials, casual sports groups and collectives like Wildflowers of London are popping up everywhere. There's something for everyone.
At Wildflowers of London, we're passionate about celebrating the women in our community and creating spaces for meaningful connections. We hope to see you at an upcoming Wildflowers of London event!
By Heenu Nihalani
About Heenu: Heenu Nihalani is a writer, editor and writing coach/consultant, drawing on both corporate and creative writing experience to support her clients. You can find more of her writing at https://fieldnotesfromexistence.substack.com/ and her website is https://www.studioheenu.com/